I have been thinking, wondering just what memories of India will last for years.  I think watching the kids see Kanchenzanga emerge from the clouds the first time, or walking into the courtyard of the Taj Mahal will last. But the better ones will be the ones that are meaningful only to me.  Josh and our driver Gabriel are kicking around an empty water bottle and laughing in the parking lot of the school while we wait for Sarah. The sun is dropping to the west and casting the schoolgrounds in a golden hue as clouds drift across a rich blue sky.  I have stayed in the car reading Jhumpa Lahiri stories about Indian families struggling with life in America while my iPod serves a strange randomization of old U2, Enya and Doors songs.

My urge to write this is mostly to cement the feeling that came over me that this would in fact be one of those memories. It may sound pointless in telling, but it may in fact come to mind when I recall how I once lived in India and was happy.  And if in years to come I read this and wonder why the memory lost its signifigance I will at least have learned that you can't predict or plan what memories will survive the test of time.

Shawn

I remember the first time I fired someone. It was the son of the founder of a company we had bought. He didn't go without plenty of arguing. I gotten better at it over time, but it is still not a pleasant task.

This morning I dismissed our housemaid Remani.  The deciding events happened last week.  First,   she insisted that Amy make her breakfast. Second, Amy had friends over and hers friends pointed out that their housemaids worked much faster and better. Finally, on Saturday we had left in the car and I had come back to the house to grab something. As I walked in the door she was sitting at the table drinking Max's juice. 

She is a very nice person. That makes it all the harder.  But we decided that we needed to do the difficult task of letting a nice person go so that we could find someone who can meet our work expectations. We don't have the luxury of paying for someone who can't meet expectations.

I hate the idea of saying "YOU'RE FIRED!" But it almost came to that today.  She just couldn't understand what I was saying. Finally I just said "dismissed". And she understood.

Shawn

In the fall of 1988 I was a senior in high school and captain of the debate team.   My chosen form of debate was "Model Congress".   Each participant would write a bill or resolution and present it to the group.  Success depended on your ability to argue for or against these resolutions.    With 20+ participants in a 4 hour session, competition was intense.    We faced the same high schools in a series of debate meets from November to March.   On the first of these a debater named Chris Anderson from another school introduced a resolution condemning the transfer of 12 Huey helicopters from the US Army to Pakistan.   It was a clever resolution because it was hard to form a convincing counter-argument because he never explained why the US government sent the helicopters to Pakistan in the first place.  

Anderson went for it again in the second meet and I rose to speak against his resolution.  My argument was simple.  The United States should trust Benazir Bhutto and support her in any way possible.   At that time I didn't really know anything about Bhutto except what I had read in Newsweek.  Chris and I were able to monopolize the debate because we were the only ones who were prepared to speak on the subject.   That meet I took the first place prize and Chris the second place prize.   After the meet we agreed to do additional research and continue our debate in future competitions.   I spent hours reading everything I could about Bhutto, Zia al-Huq, and the history of Pakistan.  We successfully debated the merits of the US-Pakistan relationship all the way to the state championship, which Chris won and I took second place.

The lasting result of that season is a deep admiration for Benazir Bhutto and a strong interest in Pakistani politics.   Yesterdays' assassination of Bhutto is a tragedy for Pakistan, a country that cannot afford any more instability.  Now that I call south Asia home, the stability of the region is an important concern.    From all appearances it is going to be a long winter in Pakistan before peace and stability return.

If asked for my favorite holiday, my usual response is Armistice Day.  But, between you and me it is really Christmas.   We are in India for 3 years, and our plan for the next 2 years is to be in the US for Christmas.  My goal for this year is to make it as memorable as possible as "That one year we had Christmas in India".    We put up decorations in early December and have been listening to Christmas songs all month.   There is something about old Bing Crosby renditions of favorite songs to put us in the holiday spirit.     

For the past 15 years I have strongly preferred to go absolutely nowhere on Christmas.   The past 6 years I went no further than the street that we lived on to talk to friends and watch all the kids play with their new toys.    This is probably a strong counter-reaction to spending each Christmas day for my first 18 years traveling to visit relatives.   For this reason, I don't have a strong desire to travel for Christmas, instead prefering to stay right here in Chennai and take every opportunity to make vivid memories of that one Christmas we spent in India.

The opportunities started in earnest on Saturday at the church Christmas Party.  Amy and two other expat women had been asked to plan the party.   They didn't have a good idea of what would be acceptable, but another member showed up at the planning meeting and outlined an hours long program of talks and skits and songs.   They rejected that but ended up in conflict about just what should be done.   In the end, the three of them decided to plot their own course.  After much stress the party ended up being a very big hit with everyone and Amy, Paula and Teresa received many compliments, even from the few who had proclaimed disaster because they deviated from tradition.

Christmas Song and Dance by the Young Men and Young Women.  My job at church is to work with the young men and these brave 4 volunteered to do a song and dance number with 4 young women.   They practiced for several hours.  Not something you would see back in the US.

 

The next day after church we went over to friends for dinner and to decorate cookies.   We had so much fun talking and playing games that we never finished the cookies, instead putting them in a container and taking them home.   We were fortunate to have done that because we had plenty of snacks when the carolers showed up at 10:00 PM.

The next day we fulfilled one of Abby's most repeated requests: "Daddy, can we just go eat at the Marriott instead?"   She was very happy.  Dad was happy that they didn't end up charging $22.50 for each of us, letting Max eat free and charging Abby half price.  Abby was very happy.

The big day finally arrived.   Some packages with gifts are still out there somewhere making their way to us, but we had plenty and in the end I am pretty sure this will be a Christmas that we will remember for a lifetime.

What a great opening line.  

My goal is to try to be as good a writer as Joel or the people listed below.   I am very grateful for all the people who take time to read this blog.  It started as a way to stay in touch with family and coworkers during my first trip to India.  Sometimes it reads like the Astonishing Tales of Costanza.   I can see from the comments that there are more than a few that are interested in our adventure.    There are a number of other blogs that I check regularly and may be of interest to you.

My relatives:
Kelli is married to my brother Derrick and is the mother of a herd of boys and a cute girl that can pass as a twin of Abby.  She writes at: http://foreverswanerfamily.blogspot.com/

India Expat Blogs:
I read every word of Teresa's blog before deciding to come to India (it should have persuaded me to stay in Arizona, but it was a realistic description of the "joy" of living in India).  Teresa's blog is: http://my.opera.com/myfamilyinIndia/

All I know about Danie is that she is the mother of Connor, a sixth grader at the school.  I know about Connor from Sarah who discusses the other 6th grade boys.   Danie writes at: http://earthtodanie.blogspot.com/.   As for Connor, HeHeely has his own blog: http://heheelys.blogspot.com/

Not sure the name of the person who writes this blog, but they just left Chennai for the US.  It was an interesting read:  http://nmj3.blogspot.com/

Technical Blogs for Developers:
If you are a developer then I suggest you read the following three blogs DAILY.  If you work for me then I consider it part of your job to read each new post on these blogs, in other words, I pay you to read these three blogs:

Scott Hanselman's Computer Zen: Scott and I have many things in common beyond the same birthday.  The significant exceptions being that is he is a much better writer and software architect than I am.  Scott has wide range of interests and skills.  His is the first blog I check each day.  http://www.hanselman.com/blog

Coding Horror:  Jeff posts original and well constructed articles 4-5 times per week.   His writing covers every aspect of the craft of software development and is essential reading for any technologist. The title comes from Code Complete, the most important book for a software developer to read (and re-read). http://www.codinghorror.com/blog/

Joel on Software: Joel is the master of writing for developers.  While his writing is increasingly less frequent, but the archives and his new posts are of a consistent high quality.  Study every word he writes.  http://www.joelonsoftware.com

A blog and a podcast for managers:
Manager Tools.  This is more podcast than blog, and something I look forward to listening to each week.   These guys have no-nonsense practical advice for every aspect of being a manager, from dealing with body odor to annual performance reviews.   http://www.manager-tools.com

Rands in Repose: Excellent writing about managing technical people and living and working in the technical world.   Irreverent and direct and very entertaining.  http://www.randsinrepose.com/

A woman jumped out of the 9th floor of an office tower in Kolkata.   It was the same day I arrived last week, in the same building as our office, just 2 floors below.    As I arrived at the office a television news crew was packing up.   I would not have known about it if not for the proximity.   This paragraph in particular from the next days' Times of India reminded me of the need for cultural awareness in a job like mine.

   "The incident brings to lithe killer pressure of working and struggling to retain one's job in the 24X7 sector.  Unlike other countries, India still lacks a safety net for employees sacked from the industry that has triggered the current economic boon."

My group has not had any layoffs and I do not see any happening in the near future.   And this is not just an Indian issue, losing a job is hard anywhere.  But in the US you have Unemployment Benefits and other help that can at least soften the impact.  I wonder if Jayita Ghosh lost her job because she worked for some big US company that didn't consider the impact of hiring and then laying off staff in a country that has a hard time dealing with unemployment. 

On the plane ride back to Chennai I considered what I would do if I had met her in that coridor as she prepared to jump.  Of course I would hire her on the spot if it meant keeping her alive.   The challenge here is that you could spend all your time and fortune helping people in difficult circumstances.